Elixir of the Gods

Take one barely-solid Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut, lovingly nestled in the tender embrace of a piece of Wisconsin's finest cheddar, crispy fried slices off the backs of the finest swine in all the land, and delectable beef hewn from the hardiest cattle, followed of course by the inevitable second Krispy Kreme. This adds up to the closest mankind has ever come to literal metaphysical transformation: this is quite literally the elixir of the gods.

When base humanity in its squalor meets up with the heights of heaven, certain inevitable side effects result. One subject reported a near instantaneous mood change, causing brusqueness with the waitress. This was followed with physical and emotional apathy, and this subject's psyche was not one that would prove to make a return to the summit that is Lutherburger.


When this writer encountered theoculinary bliss (Latin theo God + Latin culinarius, from culina kitchen) it was something struggled with but eventually succumbed to. Rays of ethereal pleasure emanated throughout the entire being, beginning of course primarily in the tongue region. The process was disorienting to be sure, but exhaustingly stimulating as well.

Would we prove ourselves able to remount this Everest? Some said no, they could no more look at meat itself ever again after the experience. Some said that the main impediment to the Lutherburger being a staple of future consumption was the fact that it requires frequenting two restaurants (Krispy Kreme and a reputable burger joint). Nonetheless, it is truly the kind of experience that separates the men from the boys. It separates diabetes, heart disease etc. from so-called "health and wellbeing" as well. The truly great potential Übermenschen among us will choose wisely.